Anna's Birth

First off, congrats to Jeremy's brother Jon and his wife Shannon who had their baby girl today! She's just 12 days younger than Anna.  AND, my sister Amy found out on Monday that she's having a girl too!  (Due in July)  Yea for girl cousins!

This is going to be SO long, so consider this your warning.  I really wanted to get all the details down to have for my own record.  I won't feel bad at all if you don't read it, so no pressure. :)

First off - Natural Childbirth.  It was intentional, to answer some questions.  It's actually something I've really been wanting to do since I first got pregnant with Eli, but it didn't happen until this time.  Some people think that's crazy to want that, but I just have always felt like God made our bodies perfectly and this is what we women were made to do!  I knew it would be so hard, but it was really something I wanted to do.  So this time around I was determined to wait as long as possible (no induction) and be as prepared as I could be.  In short - I read a lot of books, a lot of friends' birth stories on blogs, talked to a lot of friends about their natural births, did yoga regularly throughout my pregnancy, practiced breathing/relaxation and pain-management techniques with and without Jeremy, and just thought a whole lot about it!  And it worked!!!  Here's how it happened....

So for months I'd been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions.  They started way earlier this time around.  Then the last week they started to feel different - lower, more painful, and I'd have periods of semi-regular contractions, usually in the evenings.  The night before I went into labor I had them every 10-12 minutes for a few hours (of course it was from 11pm-2am, lovely).  I thought that might be early labor, but I guess it was just prepping me for the next day.  I woke up the next day and they had totally died off.  That whole week I would have at least one contraction every hour, but I hardly had any all day Thursday.  I guess I was getting a nice little break before the real deal.  We went to a friends' house that morning for a little birthday celebration, then we dropped Jeremy off at school to finish off his last homework assignment and study for his last final.  I took a nap that afternoon, we had dinner as usual and got the kids to bed nice and early.

Just after getting the boys down, around 7ish, we sat on the couch to watch Jeopardy (we're pretty much senior citizens) and my usual evening contractions started.  I didn't think anything of it because, like I said, this was getting to be a nightly thing.  About 7:30 we decided to make some popcorn and watch a movie.  Jeremy only had one final left the next day and we were in a let's-not-think-about-how-overdue-this-baby-is mood and felt like doing something fun.  (Fun sidenote - I was talking to my mom earlier that day - and this is probably where the idea popped in my head - about what she was doing when she went into labor with me.  She was watching a movie and eating popcorn with my dad.  Cute. :))

So we turned on King Kong - nothing like watching a giant ape to put you into labor - and the contractions were still coming every 10 minutes or so.  Around 8:15 they started getting closer - about 6-7 minutes apart. I still didn't think I was really in labor, but I was timing them and I was certainly feeling them!  Finally about 9:00 I think I was convinced this was really labor.  We turned off the movie because I couldn't concentrate on anything else and Jeremy started getting some things together to take to the hospital.  It was all very exciting!  It was my first time going into labor on my own and I was very happy it was finally happening.  At 9:30 we called my friend Mary to come over.  The contractions were about every 4 minutes at that point, and although they were strong and close, I still felt fine in between, so I wasn't feeling a big rush to go anywhere.  Jeremy and I had decided we wanted to labor at home as much as possible and I was worried about not knowing when we should go, so he said he would decide. :)

Anyway, so Mary came over and they were getting a little more intense.  I needed Jeremy with me during the contractions, but again, I was pretty much fine in between.  At 10pm I called my midwife to see what she thought.  She said it was up to me if I wanted to come now or wait, so we decided to wait a little longer.  We called my mom so she could book her flight and finished getting ready to go.  Around 10:30 I had a couple really strong contractions, and I finally knew it was time to go!  I had another really strong one on the way out to the car and I was fearing the car ride!  Luckily we are only about 7 minutes from the hospital (when Jeremy isn't speeding), so it wasn't too bad.  I also noticed that every time I sat down, they slowed down - and vice versa, every time I stood up I immediately had a contraction.  I had been standing most of the time we were at home so things kept moving along.

So I was lucky and only had one contraction in the car, just as we were pulling into the parking lot.  We got into the ER (we had to go through there since it was late) at 10:45 pm and then someone came and got us to take us up to the Labor and Delivery triage.  I had a contraction in the ER waiting room and one walking to triage, both of which brought me to my hands and knees on the floor.  We got to triage and this was my least favorite part.  They hooked me up to a monitor for awhile to check on the baby and I was not a fan of waiting around.  But, my midwife checked me and I was dilated to a 6!  Pretty good.  I was hoping to be at least a 6 when I got there.  My contractions were really intense at this point and I was anxious to get into our room and settle back into our labor rhythm.

Finally the paperwork and monitoring and everything was over and they transferred me to my labor/delivery room.  I had every intention of walking there, but I lost my "zen" for a moment and was getting lightheaded so they just wheeled me on the bed.  As I said - the whole triage thing was not my favorite.  Anyway, so we got into our room and my midwife reminded me to breathe slower.  She didn't say much throughout the labor, but every time she did, it was really helpful.  I had requested a room with a bathtub when we first got to the hospital, so she had filled it up when we got there and I decided that sounded wonderful and got in.  I have no idea what times things happened after this because I was in the zone, but I'm guessing it was around 11:30 or 12 when I got in the tub?

I had read that water is very soothing and helpful in labor, so that's why I wanted to try it out.  It's the truth!  It was really helpful.  I settled back into my "ritual", I guess, and I felt like things were going well.  The bathtub was pretty small, so there wasn't a ton of room, but I found a couple positions that were comfortable.  Every time a contraction came, Jeremy was right there cheering me on when I needed it, saying just the right thing to get me through.  Every once in awhile I'd have one that was so strong I felt like I would die and I'd say something like "Help!" or "I need you!" and he'd encourage me and talk me through it.  It was amazing.  I had practiced a lot of different things, but I found just focusing on really deep breathing in and out what the most helpful.  If I could relax enough to breathe really slowly, I could usually make it through okay.  At the peak I would usually squeeze the bar on the tub or Jeremy's hand or something.

So this went on for awhile (again I don't know how long!) and I was contracting every 2-4 minutes.  I really appreciated how alone we were.  I felt like the nurse and midwife just respected our space and our wish for a natural birth and just let us do our thing.  I think they could see that we were doing well too so they didn't bother us much.  Occasionally the nurse came in to monitor the baby for 15 minutes or so at a time.  They had wireless waterproof monitors that I could use in the tub, so that was nice.  I also got up to go to the bathroom one time, but other than that we were just doing our thing.

Some time later things started to get really hard.  I felt like I wasn't handling the pain very well anymore and something needed to change.  I also felt really nauseous at one point and almost threw up.  I said to Jeremy, "this must be transition", since I knew that was a common thing to happen then.  I knew in the back of my head for awhile that I should get out of the tub and stand up - since standing had really progressed things for me earlier, but I think I was so tired and so not thinking rationally that I ignored this thought for awhile.  Luckily Jeremy had the same idea and really urged me to get out.  Then my midwife Carol came in and asked how I was and could see I was starting to struggle, so she suggested the same thing.  I think I was afraid for things to progress because it was feeling SO HARD and I was not wanting to make it harder. :)  I just wanted a break.  Haha.   I think I said to Jeremy "I don't want to do this anymore.  I'm tired".  Too bad you can't press pause on your labor...

I have to say that even though things were getting really hard and I wanted to take a break, I never once thought about or wanted an epidural.  That didn't even cross my mind and was not what I wanted for this birth at all, so I was proud of myself for really being mentally prepped.

So I finally got out and here is where things really got crazy!  I got dried off - I was really cold - and had a really strong contraction on my way to the bed.  Then Carol checked me and said I was at an 8/9.  I don't think that really registered as good or bad to me, it was just what it was.

Then she left and the nurse was getting ready to monitor the baby again and I felt like throwing up again and I got really hot and stripped off my gown (amazing how all sense of modesty goes out the window when you're having a baby!)  I was in the middle of changing positions when all of a sudden I had another strong contraction and my water broke.  I said, "My water just broke" and Jeremy says, "You think your water broke?" and I said, "No, my water BROKE!" and right after that I felt her head!  So I scream, "Her head is coming!  I have to push NOW!"  Seriously, her head was coming like a freight train - fast and furious.  The nurse called Carol to come back in and another nurse ran in and looked and said, "Oh!  I can see her head!"  And I'm thinking, "Yeah!  I told you!  It's coming out!!"

I was so mad I wasn't in a better position.  I was sitting up on the bed and her head came so fast that I had to lean to one side so I wasn't sitting on it and it was so uncomfortable, but I could NOT move, so I was just stuck there.  I think I eventually scooted back against the bed somehow, but I have no recollection of how that actually happened.  I vaguely remember yelling "Back! Up!" but things were kind of fuzzy.

So a couple more nurses rush in and they're yelling at me not to push and I'm thinking they are insane.  I don't think I opened my eyes through this whole thing.  I was freaking out.  Jeremy said he will never forget me grabbing his neck, pulling it toward my face and screaming at the top of my lungs.  I remember thinking "someone get this baby out of me!!!"  I had never made such primal terrifying sounds before.  A lot of people I talked to before said pushing was a relief, pushing felt great, yada yada, but for me, that was the most excruciating pain ever and I was screaming like a mad woman.  I talked to a friend of mine after who had a similar experience and she said she screamed like someone was murdering her and that pretty much hit the nail on the head!

Finally someone told me to open my eyes, look at them, and push-breathe-push-breathe.  I was glad to have something to focus on because I felt like SHE was pushing her way out of me SO FAST and it hurt like you-know-what.  (The books refer to this as the "ring of fire".  Yep.)  So I pushed for a few seconds and out came her head!  Sweet relief!  Then a little more fire and a push and she slithered out the rest of the way!!  It was 2:04am.  All this happened in about 5 minutes from when Carol had checked me.

It's amazing how you can go from such incredible pain to immediate relief.  They put her right on my chest and I was so happy it was over!  Jeremy started crying and saying "She's so beautiful!"  I finally looked down at her and sure enough, she was perfect.  We couldn't get over how round her head was!  Within 5 minutes she started nursing.  She just kind of found her way there and latched on like a champion.  Then I delivered the placenta and got stitched up a bit.  I was shaking from all the adrenaline - and that lasted for about 45 minutes.  Everyone left us alone for awhile and we just got to soak it all in.  It was so wonderful and peaceful (the pain was over!).  The lights were dim and we just snuggled skin-to-skin for a long time.

Anna about an hour after birth -  calmly getting weighed and measured.

(Jeremy filled me in later on a lot of the details of what happened during the crazy finale :).   Apparently one nurse was holding Anna's head in so it wouldn't come out - nice.  They didn't want me to tear, so they were trying to slow me down, and my midwife hadn't made it back in yet.  Apparently a doctor came in too (I was unaware of all of this), but then Carol finally got there.  I think if it hadn't happened so fast I may not have torn at all - I really tried to ease her out - but as it was, I got a first-degree tear, not too bad.)

About 4am - looking quite tired but happy!  On our way to the recovery room

So there's the story!!!  Wow, it was a wild ride.  I have to say I really felt like I was in control and handling it  well until the end.  It was THE hardest thing I've ever done, and ever may do, and I have to say I'm pretty proud.  Right after I wasn't sure if I could ever do it again, but I can honestly say now that I would do it again.  It was SO HARD, but I loved so much of it too.  I loved feeling freedom to move wherever I wanted.  I loved not being hooked up to anything - I didn't even have a heplock or anything.  And I loved being in tune with my body.  I wish I had gotten out of the bath sooner (I ignored that feeling too long), but other than that, I really was in tune with what my body was doing and needed to do and I feel like it was a big success!  It really was a special experience and it was really neat to go through something that intense with Jeremy.  He made me feel like a rockstar - constantly cheering me on during labor and expressing his admiration in the hospital after.  It was really sweet and I was SO grateful to him.  We did it!